5 Steps to Handling Negative Feedback

07. Jun, 2011 0 Comments

No one enjoys negative feedback and it usually comes when you least expect it. We all face people who come with concerns because they think their way is the “right way” or the “one way” to do it. Handling negative feedback in a gracious manner is not easy but when handled with the right attitude it can be helpful.

The best response comes from a heart that is genuinely interested in being open to receiving input from others. It is easy to receive input that is positive and affirms the direction you are heading. But when your actions or decisions are challenged and you are confronted with a negative tone that implies you are heading the wrong direction, it is natural to become guarded and defensive.

When we view these confrontations as an opportunity to grow and we choose to respond with humility, people feel valued even if we choose to not do it their way. When you are faced with receiving negative feedback there are five steps that will help you walk away from a difficult conversation on friendly terms.

Step 1 | Start with Appreciation

After the concern has been shared, thank the person for being willing to share from their heart. Let them know you value their opinions and you appreciate that they took the risk to share their concerns openly. Remember that they could have chosen to hold it in and allowed animosity to grow. They also could have chosen to talk to others behind your back. Expressing appreciation helps soften the negative tone and shifts the conversation to a constructive dialogue.

Step 2 | Seek to understand concerns

Repeat back the concerns that have been shared and ask for clarification where you are confused. Asking questions out of a genuine desire to understand helps you to evaluate the concern through the eyes of another.

Step 3 | Challenge faulty assumptions

There will be times when you have to distinguish between preference and principle. If the person giving the feedback assumes that decisions are being made without regard for the feelings or concerns of others, you will have to challenge that assumption if it is not true. Don’t allow emotional accusations or assumptions to drive the conversation. Challenge faulty assumptions graciously and reassure frequently.

Step 4 | Accept responsibility for shortcomings

Where there are shortcomings in principle, accept responsibility and ask for forgiveness. If the negative feedback is about preference, accept the responsibility for giving consideration to the concern/opinion being expressed but don’t make promises that will limit your future decisions without careful consideration.

Step 5 | Ask for input on what needs to be adjusted/improved

Move the conversation away from what is disliked and use the discussion to explore possible solutions that will help solve the problem. Be careful not to commit to making the adjustments in the moment. It is more important that you explore possible solutions together than it is to make a decision that makes the person happy. Let the person be heard and take some time to get more input before any course corrections are made.