Book Review: Daddy Dates

26. Aug, 2011 0 Comments

I recently received a book from a Twitter friend, Dave Schroeder, called Daddy Dates. He had seen some of my tweets about my daughter and kindly offered to send a copy my way.

Dates with my daughter have been a regular event in our home from the time she was clinging to my pant leg. Ten years later she is a sophomore in high school and it is still one of our favorite things to do together. I can’t thank Dave enough for sending the book my way. Daddy Dates will help me take my daughter dating skills to the next level.

The author, Greg Wright, shares his journey of raising 4 daughters and the importance of getting to know the heart of your children. As children grow into teenagers, it is not uncommon for parents to feel distant or shutout of their world. Dads don’t get the opportunity to practice creating significant conversation as children move through the early years.

Dads who want to get to the heart must adapt to new ways of communicating as their children progress through various stages of development. Getting to the heart of a daughter requires learning how to ask appropriate questions, and intentionally planning time together. Creating significant connection moments requires a willingness to learn new conversational skills as a child’s ability to relate grows.

Greg realized how ignorant he had become about the desires and opinions of his daughters after overhearing a conversation between his daughters. That conversation set off an alarm that ultimately led him to create a simple and compelling mission statement all fathers can relate to, “Don’t screw up.”

That mission statement led him to create an action plan that ultimately led to dating his daughters. The author shares a foundational truth for all men when it comes to roles of men and women in relationship, “It’s the job of every husband and father to understand his job- perhaps his most important job- is to be the pursuer.”

Daddy Dates helps equip fathers to pursue their daughters. Greg gives solid advice when he informs fathers that life includes all kinds of “mental baggage” our daughters must face. Fathers can help lighten the load when we understand what our daughters are struggling to overcome. I appreciated the perspective Greg gave to the “worries” girls carry. Greg writes, “Believe it or not, their worries are the greatest gift in conversation… worry is the dirty laundry you want to see.”

Fathers usually avoid engaging with the “worries” of our daughters knowing we won’t be able to fix their worries. Greg reminds dads that the most important thing to do is to listen to the worry, not solve it. Worries are a natural part of growing up.

Fathers should view their daughter’s worries and anxiety as “creative little works of art in progress” and realize that daughters may not have the desire to share what they are creating. If the desire to share isn’t there then dads should leave it alone. But when the mood strikes to talk, embrace it with a listening ear and encouragement rather than a weak attempt at trying to fix the problem.

Daddy Dates is packed with practical advice for dads. Greg’s insights provide a compelling road map that helps guide dads closer to the heart of their daughter.