Questions Your Kids need to Ask

12. Oct, 2011 0 Comments

Article first published as Four Questions Your Kids Should Ask on Technorati.

Have you ever been asked a life-changing question? The right question can lead to meaningful change. From the first moment we hold our newborns to when they graduate college, children are continually changing.

Whether a child changes from helpless to helpful largely depends on how well parents equip their kids to ask the right questions. No parent wants a child to go through the experience Amanda Knox endured in an Italian prison. One wrong decision is all it takes. Children are better equipped to make good decisions and enjoy a life worth living when they learn to ask these questions.

Four questions kids need to ask:

1. Who comes first in my life?

Children begin with a distorted view of the world. From birth, parents are the answer to their every want and need. We answer their cries and anticipate their needs. But the day always comes when it’s time for a child to learn that there’s more to life than having his own way. Children who learn to give of themselves for the good of others grow to value relationships.

2. How have I helped my family today?

Children gain perspective by contributing to their family’s day-to-day success. They learn, first of all, that their family does not exist for them. Yes, this might be shocking news, but as parents we do our kids a life-long favor by showing them they are not the center of the universe. When children help out, they also learn they have an important place in their families. Knowing where they fit in teaches children that responsibility and belonging go together.

3. What example am I setting for my friends?

Children need to know that they are influencers. When children become aware of the power of their choices, they are less likely to get sucked into what everyone else is doing. It is hard to resist the collective influence of friends. Children who learn to consider the impact of their decisions are one step closer to making better decisions.

4. What influence are my friends having on me?

Since children are social creatures, it’s natural and even good for them to long for friendships. As parents, we can teach our children to learn the meaning of true friendship by being a good friend, first, and by expecting their friends to be good friends too. Being a friend comes with the risk of a friendship that turns sour, and every child needs to know when it’s time to reconsider such a relationship. When a friend becomes controlling, exclusive or encourages others to do destructive things, the time has come. These won’t be pleasant times, but they will make our children’s lives richer by helping them evaluate when a friend really is being a friend.

Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” When we help our children examine themselves by helping them ask the right questions, they have a safe place to explore who they want to become and they find a life worth living.

What other questions should our kids be asking?